Obsessed with the IDEA of being in love?

It happens to the best of us, and it happens to the rest of us. Whether we would like to admit it or not, everyone feels this way every now and again. You fall head over heels - not for a person, necessarily - but for the idea of being in a relationship. Or, maybe you are the type of person who absolutely does not share this fleeting obsession. Well, good for you.

For the rest of you, who can sometimes get caught up in the idea of having an awesome relationship with a passing crush - this advice is for you.

First and foremost: Don't berate yourself for feeling this way. It's not childish or naive to think that you could end up in a great relationship with someone you're interested in. Neither is it insane or stalker-ish or anything like that! At least not in my opinion. I like to look at it this way: it's just an indication that you have the capacity to freely give love and to openly receive it. Not too shabby of a quality if you ask me. You should never lose that spirit of hope and positivity, especially when things don't work out. 

Secondly, don't fear the feeling. Sometimes I get annoyed when I find myself even contemplating pursuing a relationship with a new person. All of my anxieties and apprehensions come to surface in the most random and inconvenient ways. But, we should never slap ourselves on the wrist for merely feeling something! I mean, how silly is that? Seriously, where is the harm in feeling excited or looking forward to the possibility of something new? No harm, no foul!

Thirdly (who says "thirdly", right?!), relinquish your control every now and then. It's been my observation that people like to be in control of lots of things all at once. In control of their budget, in control of their schoolwork, in control of career decisions, and even in control of their own feelings! Feelings are, like, the most spontaneously-occurring phenomena that can't be tamed! Don't get me wrong, we conscientious human beings are in control of our actions and can choose not to act on certain feelings. But, I'm not talking about all that heavy stuff, I'm just saying you can't control everything ALL the time, and you certainly can't control your fleeting feelings towards a certain person. So, why even try? Don't be afraid that you'll fall into the trap of getting hung up on a crush. Enjoy the feeling. Let it pass. Feel that way again when the next person comes along! To sum it up, give this amazing song by this amazing band a listen: "Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat" by Carbon Leaf.

Lastly, find a way to grow from every experience. Whether it be a crush that faded or a relationship that crashed and burned, embrace the experience and acknowledge the growth you can glean from each and every one of them. And, if this just sounds like a bunch of "kum-ba-ya, peace lovin'" idealistic mumbo-jumbo, you bet your bottom's dollar, it is! Not every crush has to feel so crushing! Sure, you're disappointed that nothing blossomed, but somehow, someway, I guarantee you, you're better for the experience. Whether you learned something new about yourself, or something new about others, it's worth it!

And another thing! I could go on and on about this topic, but I'll wrap it up here. I'd be remiss if I didn't add the admonishment:

"Avoid comparing romantic comedies and such like to your own life when you're in one of these states." 

You shouldn't project these fictional scenarios or characters onto real people and real life. That goes for songs, too. It's easy to get wrapped up in the beautiful yet heartbreaking songs about being heartbroken and lovelorn. But, simply appreciate the melodic surprises and impressive vocal range - DO NOT get sucked into sulking over the depressing lyrics. I'm not calling out any names, but YOU KNOW what songs I'm talking about and which artists I'm referring to! This post is not for that type of love lost. Sorry, I'm not that deep and haven't been that hurt ever, so I can't help in that department.

Final Word

And, I wanted to add -- not as a disclaimer, but more as an author's note, if you will -- I did hesitate to click "Publish" after writing this post for fear of being "exposed". I only share these types of thoughts with my very closest friends. But, then I thought, "eh, my closest friends are the only ones who read this blog anyway, so think I'm good!" (Humor gets me through the awkwardness...) But, more than that, as I have mentioned before, writing these posts are more therapeutic for me than for the readers. So, I say all that just to say, I hope this does help anyone (or a friend of anyone) who may stumble upon this post, because it sure helped me!