Lessons Learned from the Vague Gap Year & the Move Back Home

To say that it can be a bit daunting to embark upon the vague, uncharted territory that is the gap year  is a gross understatement. I'd be willing to say that experiencing this gap year between undergrad and grad school has been one of my most terrifying experiences to date. Perhaps the difference lies in whether or not your gap year is planned or not... Regardless, once you're in it, you're in it deep.

Long story short, my Plan A for life after graduating did not work out, so I had to conjure up an efficient Plan B. I am coming to realize that this sort of situation happens to just about every other person in the world, by the way. Nonetheless, it still takes some adjustment to accept the fact that you have to not only come up with a Plan B, but to embrace it in all of its complex fluidity and ambiguity. So, hopefully a few words of encouragement can help you (or, y'know "someone you know") if you ever find yourself in a similar predicament - yikes! let's not say predicament - let's say a similar scenario.

Time to Explore and Confirm

A wonderful past professor of mine (who I always keep updated on my progress via email, something I recommend you do if you find such a professor who is kind enough to embrace the updates) often reminds me that you find out a lot about what you do enjoy doing by doing things you don't like to do. Take certain jobs, for example. If you never were a cashier, maybe you would have never realized you disliked dealing with money. Does that make sense? The point is, when you are not in a graduate or doctoral program or a career-binding job, you have time to scratch the surface of areas that you might be passionate about. You can find out valuable information from the most unsuspecting sources if you keep your eyes and hearts wide open to receive the advice pouring out.

During my little exploration period thus far, I've confirmed a few things:

1. As far as I can see, I am slowly but surely still on the career path that I am most passionate about
2. That which doesn't kill you certainly does make you stronger
3. That which annoys you makes you more patient
4. That which perplexes you makes you more accepting
5. It is highly likely that I will never have it all figured out, but the little bits that I do figure out along the way is worth celebrating and embracing 

"Movin' back in with the 'rents" 

Returning back to the "house that built me" was extremely humbly, in fact. It forced me to realize that I was, in a way, still being built. Let me put it another way: Moving back home allowed me to see that although I had conquered independence as best as I could during my undergraduate career with single dormitory rooms and an apartment in LA for an internship, I still had room to grow into that young-adult-independent mindset.

Secondly, it allowed me to truly understand the value of budgeting out your finances. It's not a piece of cake to just up and move and get your own place! This is an obvious fact, but there's something about it becoming your reality that really resonates. You learn a lot about finances and how to prepare to stay on top of yours during this gap year.

Finally, if you dreadfully do have to move back in with your parents for a while, I think you can be comforted knowing that you learn how to truly value your family. You realize - even more than you did coming back home for the holidays during undergrad - that one day your room will no longer ever really be your room. Sure, the furniture may stay exactly as it is and a few of your items - like the trophies, the books, all that stuff that may not find its place in your new apartment - will stay. But, you won't ever really live there anymore. So, I stopped being annoyed that I was in the same room I had been in all those years prior - not progressing into an apartment like some of my peers. And, instead, I embraced the fact that I get to hold on to this piece of the past a little bit longer before it is lost in a way that is inevitable and necessary.

A Final Word

From a previous post and numerous conversations with friends, I think it is becoming abundantly obvious that I absolutely love pulling quotes from Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love - it's ripe with so many thought-provoking postulates that I simply cannot help myself. So, I want to leave you with this passage that really resonated with me when I read it. Even though, in context, the character (Richard from Texas) is speaking of getting over a failed relationship, I find that his advice also applies to getting over a failed "Plan A" and trying to move on to make "Plan B" work. I feel as if I must write it in its entirety or else it loses its effect:

"Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing and you were in the best possible place in the world for it - in a beautiful place of worship, surrounded by grace. Take this time, every minute of it. Let things work themselves out here in India." 

Am I saying that every recent (or even not so recent) grad who finds themselves in a period of ambiguous transition should move to India to find peace of mind? No way! (As if any of us could afford to at this point, right?!) But, what I am saying is this: wherever you are at this point of transition, you're in the best place for growth. And, things will work themselves out. And, you will look back on this time as such a sweet time.

I couldn't tell you for certain if this is true. Check back in with me in a couple of months (eh, maybe years), and I'll confirm it for ya! But, I'll tell you one thing - it sure puts my mind at ease to believe it.