On being "fake"
So, once or twice in my life, I have been accused of being fake. Obviously, I disagree with this pre-judgement, and here's why. I don't consider it "fake" if I choose to be friendly and cheerful to others even if I don't know them that well. I just don't see a good reason to not do so. Also, I rather not invite strangers and acquaintances into personal issues I'm having in my life. Bottom line, I don't think that choosing to be friendly and warm instead of abrasively cynical or blunt is fake, I think it's quite real. Real nice. But, that's just my thought on the matter for now.
I cannot personally attest to what it is like to experience heartbreak, as it has never happened to me. Quite frankly, I hope I never experience it. But, I have had my feelings hurt by boys. I've had my feelings smacked, punched, ignored and kicked around by countless clowns. (Not really countless clowns but I liked the alliteration and rhyme and figured you would, too). Look, I'm not telling you anything you don't already know - y'all know what I'm talking about because it's happened to you, too. But, don't you think that in a way it makes us more resilient? For you who have had heartbreak, I can only offer the most humblest message: when your heart breaks, it heals itself and grows back stronger. Isn't this what happens to bones? If my memory of my past Anatomy & Physiology courses serves me well, I'm pretty sure that when you break a bone in one spot, rarely would you break it again in that exact same spot. Thus, the logical conclusion follows that the broken bone is stronger. What's that? Oh, good point - yes, the heart is a muscle, not a bone. But, for the sake of argument, let's just say this particular muscle, in the figurative sense, work the same way. So, yes, this gives me comfort when I think about my bruised feelings, at least now I know better and can move forward lightly.
I am an intense planner. I love making lists, life maps, outlines, you name it. If it involves pre-planning, planning, and then executing, I find it most enjoyable. However, if there's one major lesson I have learned - especially in post-undergrad year 1 - it's this: one should plan, yes, but plan without the pressure of permanence. Here's what I mean by this: The way my mind works is to organize things around an academic calendar. So, when I set goals to be completed in Fall 2013, I shouldn't be devastated if certain things have to get pushed to Spring 2014. Sometimes money is a deciding factor, other times it's decisions made by others (like academic program directors or employers); but for whatever reason, things don't always go according to your timeline, and that's absolutely fine.
Laughing is my single most favorite thing to do at any given moment of any given day. I simply love the experience of laughing. I will concede that there are times to be serious and reflective and other non-laugh emotions, but for the most part, laughing is always a wonderful choice. Laugh as much as possible. I feel I need say no more.