Monday, June 22, 2015

Finding a Better Way to Be Brave (Music Monday #22)

I was reading through an old journal post of mine, and it said the following: "A broken heart grows back stronger, not harder, but more resilient, more able to love extravagantly and to withstand love more powerful than you can imagine. Because when you allow your heart to heal properly, you're also nourishing its growth." I know right?? So deep!

As I've been going to through my own season of healing this past semester, I've come across some really poignant messages of encouragement along the way. It is so interesting how love and relationships are the common ground upon which all humankind can meet. We all can relate to what it feels like to love and what love lost feels like, too. It binds us altogether in this human experience. We were created for relationships. Of course this extends beyond romantic relationships, but those are no less important in our daily lives though sometimes I think they can get a bad rap. What is it that makes us so cynical towards the idea of being vulnerable in relationships? What is it that makes us so afraid to keep trudging forward and to try again? I'm not judging because I've harbored such feelings, as well. But, at what expense?

Sociologist Brene Brown (link to her iconic TED talk is above!) has done extensive research in this area. Also, recently I was recommended this book  discussing how to love deeper and well. I think our apprehension and discouragement comes from a widespread societal fear that is bred by the media. Negative expectations bring about negative experience, and vice versa. Which brings us to the ever elusive conundrum of "which comes first?" It could even be rooted in a primal self-preserving instinct to not get hurt. I don't know that there's a clear "answer", but it's worth the mental exercise to figure out what your own particular hangups and tendencies might be.

If there's one thing I've learned about myself throughout these relational trials, it's that I'm the type of person who takes the risk to fall in love and to love deeply. That might be a way to also hurt deeply if love isn't reciprocated, but I'm finding that you "cannot selectively numb". I feel it all. The joy, the excitement but also the pain and despair. And, then again, the hope and the love. You can't feel some emotions and not the others. God gave us this full, diverse spectrum of emotions to truly experience life. To dare to feel is to dare to live fully.

So, with that super long prelude, I encourage you to jam out to one of my personal all-time favorites, "Brave" by Sara Bareilles.
My favorite line is, "Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live. Maybe one of these days you can let the light in."

I listened to this song on the way to a second date once, and trust me it is very fitting for pumping yourself up for allowing romantic relationships. (It is also very effective for running that last mile - I can attest to this!) So, go boldly towards whatever it is that you're wanting but might be afraid of. Whether it be telling someone how you feel, or ushering in a season of singleness to move past hurt and embrace self-discovery, or some beautiful combination of both, or something different altogether - I wanna see you be brave!

Join me in this spirit of hope, faith and love. What helps you be brave? 

1 comment:

Please be respectful, open and helpful, we're all on this journey together!